Neehao everyone! I’m not sure that’s how they spell it, but that’s hello in Chinese! For those of you who don’t know, I have spent the most glorious ten days in Taiwan! This means I could not actually be socially experimented on in Chicago this week (although it was an entirely different kind of social experiment I was experiencing over there….). However, it was my resolution to post about something once a week, and I always have something up my sleeve….
The minute I come back from Taiwan I will be speaking at the Oak Park Public Library! My very first public speaking engagement (from this anyway)! Hooray! Thanks for the hook-up Saya! So if you are not getting your fill of me here, by all means- come hear me talk! It will be this Tuesday, Feb. 21st, at 7pm, Oak Park Public Library, 834 Lake Street. But here’s the tricky part- I’m supposed to say positive thing about online dating! That means I’m going to use this venue to unleash some horror stories right now! Plus I’ll even let you know about the latest online website I’m trying now.
Why I will never do eHarmony again: The last time I tried eHarmony, several matches initiated contact but didn’t follow through, so I was excited to finally get to the “final step” with a guy! For privacy purposes I will address this young man as CP (complete psycho). At first things started well. I was skeptical since he lived in southern Illinos and was a used car salesman, but not wanting to judge a person on such things, and knowing that Dr. Neil Warren picked this man as my soulmate, I hauled my butt down to southern Illinois woth an open mind. I knew I had made a mistake when within 15 minutes of CP letting me in, (yes, I know, it was a beginners mistake, meeting him at his house. I know better now) he showed me his gun collection, and said “look what my dog can do”, raised his hand in a Heil Hitler salute- SAYING those words as he did so, and his beautiful dog raised his paw right back. I was horrified. But I had just driven over two hours, and was beginning to see that this was about to be the most fascinatingly bad date ever, so much like a car accident you can’t seem to stop staring at, I kept staring.
We went to a comedy club. CP ordered cheese sticks, I ordered nothing. So when he offered me a cheese stick, I had one. I exused myself a few minutes later to go to the bathroom, when I returned he said “I see that anorexia thing isn’t working for you”. WHAT?!?! I couldn’t respond! I couldn’t believe he just said that! (For those of you who never met me, I’m not fat, but I’m not a size 2). Who says that?!? And if you’re going to insult me, at least use the right eating disorder- it would have been bulemia, moron! He then said “I should introduce you to my best friend. He’s a grand dragon.” Being naiive I said “Oh? He plays Dungeons and Dragons and he’s the lead guy?”. He said “No, he’s the head of the KKK chapter down here”. Ok. Now I’m looking for a hidden camera because no one can possibly this ignorant and just plain HORRIBLE! By this point, funny story be damned, I want out. So, he took me back to his place so I can get my car. I had the sense not to go back in, but he got all octopus-hands on me anyway. When I made it VERY clear that I’m not at all interested, I march angrily to the car and CP yells out “I knew you were a f***ing dyke anyway! “ Very nice. Class act.
He called me the next day to see when we could go out again. I couldn’t belive it! Did he really think the evening went well? Obviously I never returned any of his calls. And NONE of that story has been exaggerated. I also went out with an online guy who said “Know what I like in a girl? Real big tits!” I’m not kidding. Once I went out with a guy who called me a commie and then said “that sucks” and walked away after he saw that my car had gotten a boot on it! (I GOT the boot cuz I couldn’t find parking around Clark and Belmont- and pulled in that Dunkin Donuts over there just so I could tell him I was running late due to lack of parking). That bad date cost me around $200. So for those friends and family who say “You’re too picky” I tell them these stories and say “Which of these guys do you think I should pick then?”
On a happier note: But Hope springs eternal, I’m trying a new dating sight some of you may have heard of and some of you may be new to and might want to try: www.howaboutwe.com Unlike eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid, and all those, I think this is less saturated. But more importantly, it’s just different. While the others are based more on profile pictures and the written profile, this is based more on the date. You post what you would like to do on the date. Yes, there are still pictures and basic info, but the meat and potatoes of the site is the date itself. the more creative you are, the more attention you will get. For example: I posted “I think it would be hilarious to go to Medieval Times” or “Let’s check out the salt caves of Chicago” (yes! We have salt caves here!) or “Let’s go to the Dr. Suess Exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry”. And then the guys let you know if they like your date, and conversely, you can look at the dates they guys want to go on and select one. I like it because it forces you to be creative. I also like that it’s about getting to know a person rather than judging them by their profile. There are some people that don’t “get it” and post “let’s get a cocktail” which makes me think they should maybe go on Match or eHarmony if they can’t get down with the unique date thing, but most people are pretty creative.
How’s this working out for you Guinea Pig?: I admit I have yet to go on a date, but I haven’t been on it that long or that much. Now that I’m back in town I will hit it hard. The oddest thing though is that I’ve gotten an “I’m intruiged” on everything I’ve posted and a lot of guys asking me out. But when I say yes, they never write back! I’m not sure what’s up with that, but that’s the bad news. But like I said, it’s too soon to say, and I’m gonna hit it hard now instead of just dabbling here and there. So keep your eye out for HowAboutWe updates along with all the other stuff I’m brewing!
HowAboutWe gets: 3 out of 5 stars. It could go up or down depending on what comes from it.
Stay tuned next week! Next week I will go to search for guys and new girlfriends while helping others by doing volunteer work with an organization called OneBrick! I’ll also tell you how my first appearance in the public spotlight as Chicago’s Social Guinea Pig goes. And yes, I will start posting pictures again to give my blog some much need flare! See you then!
